We were infinite

I'm really buried with feelings. I miss my friends, the ones I thought I would never miss because they would always be here. I always missed them because I didn't see them everyday as I used to but we talked all the time. Now we don't. Everyone's different, except me! Am I the only one who hasn't changed? Am I the problem? I really don't understand. We used to be so closed, like a family. And one by one they started to disappear. I never in a million years thought that something like this would happen. I remember once telling my two best friends: "We, right here, right now, are forever guys and I mean it." And it felt so right. We were going through some bad stuff so it was a really beautiful moment. At least in my memory because I bet they don't remember this at all. There was another moment that I will never forget, never never never! In the "last day" I spent in my "hometown" (it was not really the last day because I go there all the time but it was the last day that it felt like the place where I live) it was late and I had to go to my new home so my best friend and I really mean it when I say my best friend hugged me and we just stood there crying for minutes. It was one of those moments you only see in movies. It was awful but lovely at the same time. I love him so so so so much (as a friend obviously) but I believe that he doesn't care about me anymore which feels like someone is constantly punching me in the stomach. I wish he remember all the things we did, how much we laughed together, how much we shared with each other, how silly we were together, how everything felt perfect when we were together. This feels like I'm talking about a boyfriend but I swear I'm not, he's just a really special person for me, he truly is my best friend. I will be missing him forever. The person he used to be at least. I will be missing tons of people but especially him! I can't explain this, sometimes I think I'm crazy and that "he" never existed but then I read old conversations between us and all of sudden everything seems real. I'm sorry for this whining but we are my brotp. 

I know you will never read this but I love you and I will love you forever even when you don't remember who I am.