Hey guys! So school is about to start and I'm becoming more and more depressed. Not about the people even though I'm not nearly excited to see them all again. It's more about the studying part and all that. Not because I'll have to work just because I'm really scared. I completely failed at my Finals and I have no confidence in me. The only thing that I was confidence about me was my work, because it used to be the only thing where I was good at. But now... I feel so disappointed at myself, I feel like a loser. All I wanted to do my whole life was to be a doctor. Now I just want to go to college and experienced the college life no matter what the course is. Because, to be honest, I know I will never be able to have the grades I need in my Finals. So I'm doomed. Anyways I don't really want to talk about that. I'm really worried because I can't see me studying again, not as I used to. I'm really down, those exams took a big part of me. I don't know who I am anymore... as a student I mean. Plus I have no one in my school to support me, they all want to see me fail to be quite honest. I'm really tired of failure. And this past year all I did was fail. And I don't want to fail again, ever! The thing is I don't know what is like to succeed anymore and that scares me. I don't know when did this happen because school was always easy to me, having good grades was always easy for me and now here I am with my heart totally broken because I might not be a doctor after all. And no one believes in me anymore and that hurts. I just wish I had good grades in my exams because I would be in cloud nine right now. By the end of this school year I'm going to have to repeat my 11th exams which means I'm going to do 4 exams in two weeks... I'm not confident about it at all. I'm praying that some kind of miracle happens and that the universe will help through this. I'm going to try my best obviously but what if my best is not enough? I'm just... completely torn.
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