Home is where your heart is

I've finally realized that next year will be my senior year. When did this happen? I hate to hate school because to be honest I've always loved school. What's not to love about it? Yes you have to study and bla bla but you spend your whole day with your friends laughing at your teachers, being scared about exams together. School should be perfect. But it's not. At least not for me. I don't have friends at my school, seriously I don't like any of them. How is that possible? They're all so mean. I hate feeling this way. And what I hate the most is that high school is almost over and I didn't have the high school experience I've always wanted to have. In 7th/8th grade I was really into those cheesy teenage american movies and I used to say that I loved high school because I thought that high school started at 7th grade whatever details details. Then real high school came and I started to hate high school, I started to feel like an outcast, like the underdog, like that fragile girl who lives in her own little world. I always thought that I'd be the popular girl, not the mean one, the one that loves everybody and that everybody loves. I was always like that. Then I moved to another town, changed school, became mad and I changed completely. This damn town changed me, and I'm so mad because high school should have been the greatest time of my life. I will never have high school again, never never never. I really just want to be a normal teenager. I just wanna have tons of friends and a boyfriend and go to parties. But I'm not good with people, I think teenage boys are stupid and I hate clubs. I feel like I'm stuck in some cage and I really just need someone to open my cage so I can finally be who I wanna be! Because right now I can't be that person, I don't belong here. 

Even though the beginning of senior year means that high school will be over soon, it also means that I'm going to college, that I'm coming back to my hometown, that I'm gonna meet new people. That makes me so happy, scared, but really happy. I'm planning on going to England on my 2nd year of college. I'm gonna find the place where I belong.