It ain't no lie baby bye bye bye

Once when I was playing singstar with a friend of mine, we sang Bye Bye Bye. He didn't know the song but he sang it anyway because he saw that I really wanted to sing it. 

Or maybe just because he didn't have nothing better to do. But I like to think that it wasn't just that. I know I'm weird, leave me alone with my fantasies.

So we sang it and we were alone, everyone had disappeared for forgotten reasons. And it was awesome because he doesn't really know this crazy me that sings boybands' songs and just dances around. 

I wish he could get to know me again. 

He was smirking the whole time while I was just really having fun. It was so nice. I had completely forgotten about this little episode but then Bye Bye Bye came on shuffle and I started to imagine myself singing this song in front of my friends when I realized that it actually happened. 

It was the last time I saw him. The last time I talked to him. The freaking last time. I miss spending time with him and having fun. 

Now he thinks he's too cool to be friends with someone like me. And it sucks. It really sucks. Am I that stupid for not smoking or not getting drunk everyday? I must be because I'm the only person I know that don't do it. Maybe I know the wrong people. 

Bottom line is: I really like boybands. 

Things get better

Hi hello hey how's it going.

Basically that was me trying to decide how I should start this post. 

I wasn't very effective, was I?

Yeah...

Anyways... I was feeling like doing a little update on my eventful life (lol). Things are kind of good now. The 2nd Term is almost over which means that I finally have some free time to relax. 

But most important, school does not feel that bad anymore. Idk, there were some conflicts (?) with some people before but they were good in a way because they're the reason I got to know other people from my class. It's funny because I've known these people for two years now and I had never really spoken to them. Now we talk which is good and I feel good when I'm around them. 

The conflicts are now over which is great. I missed them. I have to say it. It was awful not talking to them all because I actually care about them. They make laugh. I really like people who make me laugh. 

I realized that I had made up this really scenario where everyone was really mean but the thing is I was the one who was not seeing things correctly. They're not that bad at all. It feels good not hating everyone, to be honest. But mostly, it feels good to know that people actually like you. I forgot how it was like to be... liked? Loved? Whatever. 

Ok this is it. I'll see you when I'll see you.

Self Inflicted

I am empty. Or full. I don't even know. I can't decide if I need something new or if I just need to go back in time. I know that something's missing because I'm pretty sure that the best part of your day isn't suppose to be the time you go to bed. The thing is, I know exactly what's missing but I keep denying it because it's been too long and I need to leave it behind. But how am I suppose to leave behind the best times of my life, the best people I have ever known? I can't I just can't. I refuse. Even if they don't care about me anymore. I don't want to forget. But remembering how good things were back in that time is so painful because now things are so screwed up. And I miss him. I miss them. They liked me, they really cared about me. Now no one likes me, no one really knows me. Now all that's left are memories and my sadness.